executive compensation – noun

Payment to an executive for loss or suffering incurred from interaction with middle management, staff, and other rabble.

exaggerated – adjective

Politically damning, but generally unknown.

expert – noun

A person with specialized knowledge about a particular subject that qualifies him to opine about anything and everything.

equality – noun

The state or quality of owning equal assets, and therefore equal moral worth.

electable – adjective

1. Possessed of no definite qualities save a vague geniality. Nebulously attractive.

2. An ability to project optimism about the catastrophic and utter absurdities without blinking.

emergency – noun

A crisis requring immediate action or assistance – if it occurs in a swing state.

EFP – noun

Abbr. "explosively formed penetrator." An Iranian WMD.

evidence - noun

(Origin: Latin "clear, obvious.") That which confirms what is already obvious from hearsay, gut feeling, or common sense.

estimate - noun

The precise number found to attract a majority vote, settle a negotiation, or win a contract.

embassy – noun

A heavily fortified, forward operating base.

empathy - noun

The dismissal of another's suffering as precedented by one's own.

COMMENT: Rudy Giuliani on the 9/11 first responders: "I'm one of them."

enhanced interrogation - noun

Mutual resume padding.

ethics – noun

A system of rhetorical rules governing public discourse about personal conduct.

embedded - adjective

Compromised.

executive privilege - noun

The right of the executive branch to censor itself for obscene content.

earmark - noun (reprise)

Public financing for Congressional election campaigns.

evildoer - noun

An archvillain who can only be defeated by a president granted superpowers.

enduring – adjective

Lasting for several news cycles.

ethanol – noun

A corn-based alcoholic panacea that will end global warming, establish America's energy independence, stabilize the agricultural economy, solidify the political devotion of farm states, and win the Global War on Terror.

COMMENT: Herbalife has begun marketing ethanol gel caps. Nutritionists have found it to be a powerful detoxicant.

Perk up pouting household surfaces with new miracle Ubik, the easy-to-apply, extra-shiny, non-stick plastic coating. Entirely harmless if used as directed. Saves endless scrubbing, glides you right out of the kitchen!

earmark – noun

A bribe to a Congressman nestled within an appropriations bill to secure his vote for said bill.