Diversion: Philip Roth on the State of the Union

new – adjective

1. Forgotten.

2. Recycled.

3. Reissued.

4. Reverted.

5. Covered in plastic.

equality – noun

The state or quality of owning equal assets, and therefore equal moral worth.

yacht - noun

A Congressman's second home and primary office.

bubble – noun

A gaseous spherule enclosed by a delicate liquid layer that upholds our whole economy.

misunderestimate – verb

To underestimate the effectiveness of the stupid.

commission – noun

A gathering of elites to resolve the scandals of elites to the satisfaction of elites.

history - noun

1. The inertia from past events that renders the future's course inalterable.

2. Archaic A once popular branch of fiction about past events.

3. (By extension) Something not worth reading or discussing.

USAGE: That’s going back in history. I don’t remember the details of it.

News: Get a brain, morans!

From Family Security Matters, "Pro-Troop Rally Draws Patriots from Around the Nation"

success – noun

Any action viewed under the right aspect.

electable – adjective

1. Possessed of no definite qualities save a vague geniality. Nebulously attractive.

2. An ability to project optimism about the catastrophic and utter absurdities without blinking.

fascism – noun

Government under the opposition party or by a foreign leader hostile to U.S. interests.

failure – noun

Success that is misinterpreted or yet to be recognized.

vision – noun

An idea or goal that blinds one from the complications of its realization.

fact-finding tour – noun

A toe-touching junket to transform opinions about the place visited into facts.

revisionist – adjective

Insufficiently laudatory or elevating.

bailout – noun

A government-issued, golden parachute for corporations.

complex – adjective

Beyond the understanding of mortals, save through the intercession of government officials, pundits or scholars.

USAGE: "The situation in Iraq remains complex, difficult, and sometimes downright frustrating," General Petraeus said. (NYT 9/11/07)

Announcement

Posting was light last week, because I started a new job at Harper's Magazine as an editorial intern. I'm working on the Index and Readings sections.

If you come across any eye-popping statistics or pieces that make for good reading (we especially love absurd court cases), please send them.

cherry-pick – verb

To select the best factual produce for consumption.

COMMENT: Cherry-picking is an American tradition that goes back to George Washington, who after chopping down the cherry tree, selected the best fruits and baked a cherry pie for his parents, claiming that the dessert justified the whole endeavor.

insurance - noun

A popular game in the rackets, despite its unreliable payoffs

legacy - noun

1. Scar tissue from a cancerous tumor.

2. An incentive for scoring in garbage time.

labor - noun

The provision of service to paying customers.

COMMENT: Happy Labor Day.

cease-fire – noun

A time-out to reload.

intent – noun

A thought formed about a past action that causes it. Retroactive motivation.

COMMENT: Who says backwards causation doesn't happen?

mislead – verb

To try to guide towards the truth, but fail.

shrine – noun

A small space for piety cordoned off from the rest of reality.