Saturday, March 29, 2008

Diversion: "Crying" by Roy Orbison

green-collar job – noun

Service employment at an organic-food establishment.

reverend – noun

1. A person who quotes the Bible, pontificates about morals, seeks donations, but doesn't run for public office.

2. A person deserving of the same awe and respect one has for non-existent objects.

3. A stand-up comic with a religious routine.

4. An expert consultant on sex and graft scandals.

lame duck – noun

The main character of a satyr play that follows a tragic trilogy.

Friday, March 28, 2008

unknown unknown – noun

Something that one doesn't know that one doesn't know (e.g. anything one thinks one knows).

The Unknown

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.

—Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing
(h/t to Slate)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

pastor – noun

The shepherd of a flock that he regularly fleeces for money.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

candidate – noun

A person so committed to public service that he will elbow and slander anyone who gets in his way.

Friday, March 14, 2008

x-ray – noun

1. A guarantor of public trust.

2. A machine that photographs the self.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

memoir – noun

A genre of sci-fi fantasy literature that uses first-person narrative.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

waterboarding – noun (reprise)

Baptism for the recalcitrant.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

change – noun

A process whereby something sheds one appearance for another while remaining essentially the same (cf. Aristotle Physics I).

I want to do everything I can to help deliver the change America needs. -- Rahm Emanuel