fraud – noun

A financial scheme that is understood by regulators.

feeder fund – noun

A private investment fund that, for a 1.5% fee, exercises the due diligence of passing its money pool to other funds whose managers seem to know something about finance.

finance – noun

Alchemy; hermetics. A magical power, practice, or process whereby mundane things are transformed into objects of great value.


Finance

financial – adjective

(Etymology: Latin finis "end, utmost limit, highest point")

Having to do with the ultimate ends or limits of human existence; existential.

USAGE: Personal financial crisis, if accumulated to too many folks, hurts our country.— President Bush

Blaming speculators as a response to financial crisis goes back at least to the Greeks. It's almost always the wrong response.—Larry Summers

footnote – noun

A comment affixed to the bottom of a page that discusses something tangential to the main text, e.g. a statement of losses on a balance sheet.

fascism – noun

Government under the opposition party or by a foreign leader hostile to U.S. interests.

failure – noun

Success that is misinterpreted or yet to be recognized.

fact-finding tour – noun

A toe-touching junket to transform opinions about the place visited into facts.

first responder - noun

A biodegradable compound used to contain environmental disasters, natural catastrophes, and other large-scale threats to public health.

flip-flop - noun

The political sin of changing one's mind on the basis of reasons or evidence.

When the facts change, I change my mind - what do you do, sir?

foreign aid - noun

Investment in high-end real estate development in the third world.

federal prosecutor - noun

Director of opposition research for a political party.

faith-based – adjective

Not based on works.

free trade – noun

1. Commerce strictly regulated by international agreements for the benefit of countries who value freedom.

2. Legalized corporate smuggling.

COMMENT: Did you know that "free trade" is, in fact, a Scottish phrase for smuggling? So much for Adam Smith's high-mindedness.

family man – noun

1. Sexual deviant.

2. Crook.

freedom – noun

1. (Political) The absence of constraint on the manufacture, promotion, purchase, sale, trade, and consumption of products, save the availability of capital.

2. (Individual) The ability to think, speak and act in conformity with American public opinion.

NOTE: The inability to think, speak and act in conformity with American public opinion is "insanity."

COMMENT: Terrorists hate freedom. They hate freedom because they are either insane, envious, or insanely envious.

fear – noun

The linchpin of civil society.

The passions that incline men to peace are fear of death, desire of such things as are necessary to commodious living, and a hope by their industry to obtain them. – Thomas Hobbes

Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd. – Bertrand Russell

foia – verb

To harass government officials via mail as a form of protest.